Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Text: Farzana Contractor

Unhappiness seems to be widespread these days. A lot has to do with the uncertain times we live in; so much strife, so much hatred, so much abuse of power. Senseless wars for no defined reasons. But these are global factors that cause economic stress and fear of the future and, in turn, unhappiness.

Political conflicts is one aspect, the other is the social isolation we have bestowed upon ourselves, no thanks to complete digital dependence. The emotional disconnect is creating depressed, unhappy people, who, controlled by social media, arrive at unrealistic expectations in life and become even more dissatisfied. And even more unhappy.

Few people seem to be living in the present; it’s always the past or the future. Constantly seeking validation from peers, undermining their own sense of self-worth…That certainly creates room for pessimism and disappointment. Unhappiness.

Add to all of the above, are some other ingredients which I think contribute even more to why we can’t be happy. They are all personal qualities which are or can be totally in our control, if only we see them.

Notice how there is constant judging going on? Criticising, complaining, blaming, arguing, competing and simply trying to control each other. These are all linked to making ourselves feel unhappy, eventually. All these cause inner negativity, and totally damage relationships, they drain you mentally and emotionally and you are not even aware. But you do wonder why you stay angry and upset and unhappy most of the times!

So perhaps it is best to stop focusing on flaws of people and concentrate on their positive side. Constant blaming and complaining creates victim mindset, keeping our attention on problems instead of finding solutions. Arguing constantly strains friendships, weakens family ties and disrupts workplace dynamics. As for competing excessively, it only fosters insecurity and a low morale. Trying to control people around you damages trust and allows for resentment to grow, which really rebounds as unhappiness for the controller.

So why do all of this? Why create a toxic environment, break trust, instigate jealousy and rivalry, try and snatch other people’s freedom in anyway? Why put yourself in a position of stress, loneliness, frustration, why have your peace shattered?

These toxic traits are double-edged swords, they hurt and harm others and then boomerang back as unhappiness on you.

So make attempts first to be aware of yourself, how you think, how you react. Make up your mind to be a happy person. It’s such a beautiful state to be in. Pause before labelling someone, imagine life from their viewpoint. Give constructive feedback, not negative comments, don’t blame, practice accountability, own up to your own mistakes first. Don’t start arguing – which actually becomes second nature if you are at it long enough – listen to others when they speak, repeat to yourself what you just heard and then respond. It’s a trick that works. Don’t try controlling things and people all the time. Let go, allow your loved ones to make their own decisions.

Finally and very important, throw away that strong competitive feeling that persists, take it easy, celebrate others’ successes instead of comparing. Set your own personal growth goals.

Having said all this, all that is left to say is, break ingrained habits, be simple, have empathy, meditate, be in touch with nature whenever you can, have pets, and a heart full of contentment and gratitude.

Don’t worry, be happy, like Bobby McFerrin sang!